In a way, it feels awkward. I am kind of having a conversation with myself while writing it down. In Scrivener, on my laptop.
I have left my logical mind behind, and write only in the state of flow. It is me and my subconscious who are communicating, or rather – me and my higher self. You might call it God, or guardian angel or whatever you like. When leaving the 3D-mind behind, you are letting other forces take over.
No! The Guardian Angel, let us call it that, is not taking over! It is more like a meld, or like two different sides of the same soul is participating in something much bigger than an ordinary conversation. And both of us, all of us, is me.
So now we are there again. I’m talking to myself. But the other half of this self, is the all-knowing self, the part that is close to god all the time and knows about it. No vail at all is obscuring the picture, nothing is hiding the true realm.
How am I doing this? I don’t know. I am relaxing, and then I empty my head and there it goes. Part two of The Solar Eclipse I wrote in this way. Sat down with the laptop, said out loud ”what are we going to write today?” and then the story burst out of my head. I didn’t think, I didn’t wonder about anything. I just wrote. Hardly even knew what I was writing, and forgot it later. But when I, later on, read what I hade written, I got stunned. It was really good.
The entire July last year, 2019, during CampWriMo I worked in this way, and the story went on, and went on…
I wish I had kept on writing in this way also in august, but the stress of having to write every day made me tired. After a pause I would keep on writing in the same manner, I thought, but I didn’t. Sad to say.
In November, also last year, during NaNoWriMo, I began writing like this again. Now on a different story that had popped up in my mind about a woman called Mz Eliza Elderberry. I did manage to write my way to the 50 000 odd words, but eat the end I was really tired. Also, I was visiting my youngest daughter for an extended weekend at the end of November, and the writing, that story, didn’t do well at that time.
But still, on the whole, there was a lot of good writing I did when I turned inwards to reach my inner spirit for working together.
Now? Well, I am not quite as clear in my writing with the spirit as I were last year. In the beginning, yes! That dialogue I had with Kay, was nothing less than a conversation with God. Yes, I call it God, since God is all there is. Everything is a specific aspect of God, and therefore also I am God. And Kay!
Thus! I talk to myself! My higher self. The self that knows it all, but isn’t at all impertinent about it.
And I have got very good insights from these conversations.
So! What do I do now?
I have to keep on writing! Not that I am obliged to stick to CampWriMo and force myself to write my 30 000 words now during April. But I want to! I think I still need to force myself a bit when It comes to write on a daily basis. Pity though, in a way, is that coincidentally I have had – and still have – quite a lot to do with other stuff as well. Including creating a webpage for the organization. And I have to present that, ready and clear, on the board meeting and then the members meeting, on April 20. Only a week left. But I think I will manage.
The domain is bought, and a couple of days ago I created our Instagram and Facebook accounts. So I am going forward with my duties.
Anything else? No, I recall nothing special. My new bed will be delivered on the 16th, in two days. Nothing to ponder over, just fun. I’m happy about it just like a child on Christmas morning.
In a month, almost on the day, one of my daughters will move from the house she just sold into an apartment, and of course, I will help. But at that time April is gone and maybe forgotten, and so is CampWriMo April 2020.
Hopefully, I still will be writing though.
What else? Is there anything else?
Oh it is, but I don’t have to tell the entire world about everything in my life, do I? No, I thought so.
I need almost 200 words more today, and preferably even more. But I decide now, of my own free will, that I won’t have to reach the quota today. After all, I have been writing, and pretty many words as well, and now I feel like – STOP!